That's All, Folks!

Howling winds and single digit temps -- nothing else serves as quite the slap-in-the-face reminder that your month in Costa Rica is over. Man, it's almost surreal being back in the NY Metro area (more on that later). It's been a while since I've posted any substantial updates, so let me do that, then try to wrap a neat little Hollywood blockbuster ribbon around this whole puppy.

Last Wednesday was our last day with the boys at the orphanage, and it was by far our best. Our relationship with them had really been strengthening and picking up steam in the last week or so, and it seemed to really all peak on Wednesday. We got there a little earlier than usual to spend a bit more time with them and were rewarded with an hour of quiet conversation with a couple of our favorite boys, Daniel and Omar. We talked about the usual stuff -- American pop culture, our favorite adult beverages, and how poor our Spanish was.

Shortly thereafter, the rest of the troops arrived. They must have seen the huge bag full of sporting equipment we bought for them because they all came in arms extended, expressing some heartfelt "thank you's". We let them know that, yet again, these weren't presents from us,
but gifts from all the people back in The States who wanted to do something nice for them. That set a great tone for the day, which was spent outside playing sports and having some great conversations. I got Chépe, who usually passed the days watching music videos and old American television shows (Zena Warrior Princess, MacGyver, Walker Texas Ranger, etc) to play a game of 2-on-2 American Football. It took a bit to explain how to hold and throw a football on the laces, but he eventually loved the challenge of throwing a tight spiral. Kandi had a great chat with Juan Carlos, a pretty tough cookie who smiled like a little boy when she told him he had great potential. I played soccer (for the 10th consecutive day) with my buddy Diego who, once he realized I could tend goal, jumped at every chance to test me in the net. I'm not gonna admit to letting him score on me, but I think a lot more balls got through me than usual that day.

Thanks to your generosity, we were also able to order a ton of pies and breadsticks from Pizza Hut (which, remarkably, tastes exactly like the Pizza Hut in The States), a huge dulce-de-leche cake, and a bunch of soda. It was a nice break for them from their usual lunch of buttered bread and coffee.

Leaving was tough. Like I said, we felt like our relationship was peaking and we were really making strides with them, and then it was time to leave. There were a lot of hugs and thanks back and forth, and almost every one of them asked us when we were coming back. We were honest and told them we didn't know but that if it were at all possible, we'd be back. Kandi got a "you're a really good person" from Daniel, Diego finally called me his friend, and Omar told us that if we didn't come back he'd kick our asses. And that's about as much of a compliment as you'll get from Omar.

One tangible gift we'll take from the boys came in the form of a signed t-shirt with messages like "Goodbye friends," "Best friends 4 ever," "Tank you," and "Te quiero" (I love you). I have a feeling this incredible memento will find its way to a wall in our next home. (Click on the pic below for a close up of the tee).

The intangible gifts we take from these kids, however, are innumerable. These boys were constant reminders of what it means to be resilient, and living testaments to the strength of the human spirit. I'm sure that the next time I'm feeling a little wronged or like something hasn't turned out exactly how I planned it, I'll take some inspiration from the ever-present smile on Juan Gabriel's face and what he's gone through to get to that point.

We also learned a lot about ourselves simply from being outside of our comfort zones, and for me, being in an orphanage for abused and neglected teenage boys in Costa Rica is pretty far outside of my comfort zone. Almost every day, we were brought to that boundary of what we're comfortable with, and then had to decide if we wanted to cross it or not. That process alone shed a very bright light on where our strengths and weaknesses lie.

For example, I personally learned that in the face of chaos I tend to have a calming influence on others -- something I was able to learn because there was a lot of chaos there, and because I chose to do what I could to soothe it. I also saw how my own fears (in this case, fears of being physically hurt by these kids) acted as an impediment to forming strong bonds. When I was able to ease my own fears, a process that took a couple of weeks, my relationships with the boys grew by leaps and bounds. There are so many other examples of us expanding our awareness of what we're capable of and what we're not, and we're so grateful for all of them.

After our work was over, we had a full day's journey to the beautiful Nicoya Peninsula, followed by 3 days of relaxing in the laid back surfer town of Santa Teresa. That meant lots of time to mellow out, drink some wine, cook, surf, and take showers without the threat of electrocution. It also meant finally having time to process the past month a bit, and in doing so, we kept coming back to a few reoccurring themes.

One of those was definitely family. We had the fortune of staying with probably the sweetest family in all of Costa Rica, and to see how happy and content they all were living fairly simple lives together. They treated us like members of their family, which was such a gift. That, contrasted with how rough the boys at the orphanage had it with their own upbringing, and the importance of having a loving family was just so apparent. It made us appreciate our own families even more, and further strengthened our desire to be loving parents ourselves someday soon.

But probably the biggest theme that kept popping up throughout the trip was accepting what is. You can also call it going with the flow, taking what life gives you, or turning lemons into lemonade, but what it boils down to is that sometimes stuff happens, and then it's up to each of us to deal with it with dignity and find the positive. There were so many instances on this trip where things didn't go as planned but then turned out amazing, that we couldn't help but get the message. A small example was when the hotel screwed up our white water rafting trip on Saturday (our entire reason for traveling 6 sweaty hours by bus) and had to reschedule it for Sunday. Saturday, as it turned out, saw some of the heaviest rains of the year while Sunday was 86 and sunny. And there were those god-awful roosters that kept us up that first crazy night. Of course, they sucked at the time, but ended up serving as the catalyst for us meeting our eventual Costa Rican host family, who we now consider our second family.

In fact, even the two biggest factors that allowed us to even go on this trip could be seen as "negative" events -- us being forced to sell our condo in a terrible market and move in with my parents, and Kandi not landing a full-time job after graduating. We fought the hell out of these things, but in hindsight, they were two of the most important factors that allowed us to go and have this amazing experience.

Oddly enough, I just did my daily Facebook perusal and one of my friends had this status update, which pretty much sums up my above rant in a much more succinct fashion:

"Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures." -Joseph Addison

In the few days that we've been back home, Kandi and I have both said we just feel oddly different, even though we can't exactly place how just yet. It feels like it's going to take a while for all of this to settle, and I think we're both excited for that process. Part of what's making us feel different, I think, is how rich of an experience we've had. It's hard to put it into words much beyond that, but we just feel like we've stretched and tested ourselves every day of this trip. And just about every day we were exposed to something new. A perfect example: on our last day in Santa Teresa, I took my first surfing lesson. Then, completely exhausted and exhilarated on the walk back from the beach, for the first time in my life, I saw a cat with no tail.

And to think some of you doubted I could deliver the Hollywood ending!

Thank you so much for reading and for being a part of this.